I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
