This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
