a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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