we have officially lost it.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Green mimosas i think yes
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Randomize
