call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
