doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
