he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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