I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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