How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
