So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
