i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
