Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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