yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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