Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
