I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
