The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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