So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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