My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
