I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
