You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
