I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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