so that wasnt chicken after all
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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