i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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