Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
ugly people sure do ruin things
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
