Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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