i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
