I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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