girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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