Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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