I just pynch a tree in the face
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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