she looked like the before picture.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
