how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
