PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
