Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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