Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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