I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
