this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
