He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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