The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she told me i tasted like america
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
