at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
