My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Holy sore nipples Batman
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
