No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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