i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
