Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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