areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
