Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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