I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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