i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
