so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
