May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We're too hungover to prance.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
