I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
