I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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